Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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