I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm really busy with my period
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