He had one of those small greek statue penises
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
