At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Everyone says I win the strip club
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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