Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
