I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Let's get the cat blown out
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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