i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
