I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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