well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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