So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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