Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
