Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
