I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
