I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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