your room smells of hookers.
And success
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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