btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
