Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
