you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
