It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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