oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
