I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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