I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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