Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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