I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
