i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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