i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize