We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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