i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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