you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
