I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize