i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
