a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
