Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
