Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
