even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize