let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
