It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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