Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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