I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
