and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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