she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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