I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
