i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
