he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
