It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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