He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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