I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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