Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
