come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
