butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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