when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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