Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize