How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
