he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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