Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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