i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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