Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
