Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
