Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
