I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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