I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
