why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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