i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
