If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She even gives head with a lisp.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
