For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize