I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
