Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
