never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
