We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
